by Andrea Nierenberg

Many managers have discovered that networking is an important business tool, resulting in new clients and continued customer loyalty. To ensure their companies’ success, employees have been taught networking techniques to help maintain strong client relationships. However, managers may have had difficulty in helping their introverted employees become better networkers, since networking is considered a skill geared toward extroverts. The idea that networking is for people with outgoing personalities is really false. There are strategies that introverts can use to build on their strengths and that blend well with their personalities.

Laura and Jim work at the same company and have different approaches to interacting with others. Laura has no problem walking into a room full of strangers and having conversations with many people in the course of an evening, while Jim is content to meet just one or two people and to stay put for the whole evening. Because of their different personalities, Laura assumes that she is a great networker because she can interact with several people, and she thinks that Jim is weak in that area because he cannot.

Yet she has to look at Jim’s strengths; he simply networks differently than she does. For instance, since Jim takes time to talk to a few people, he’s created a long list of valuable contacts and has gotten many referrals. He’s also built relationships where he helps people who also help him. His clients believe in him and trust him.

People need to realize that there are different ways to network; it involves more than just talking to a bunch of people at a function and collecting cards. At a meeting, while Laura "works the room," Jim is engrossed in conversation with a new contact, or a colleague. However, when they walk out of the meeting, they both have contacts, referrals, and leads.

The differences in Laura’s and Jim’s approaches to networking are a result of their different personality traits. Laura is an extrovert, who gets her energy from being around and interacting with other people, while Jim is an introvert, who gathers his energy internally. Extroverts can get "wound up" and excited after a party or a meeting, and their minds race with new ideas and new possibilities that they can’t wait to put into action. On the other hand, introverts may become exhausted after such events and want to refresh and energize themselves with a solitary walk or "downtime" by themselves so they can assimilate new ideas.  

Characteristics of Introverts and Extroverts:

Introverts Can Use Their Best Qualities to Their Advantage in Networking

Many introverts are good networkers because they know how to use their introverted nature to their advantage. For example, Jim is a good listener; he notices details and remembers important facts. Because he lets others do the talking, they think he is a brilliant conservationist. He is also a thoughtful person, always the first to give a compliment, to remember a special event, and, of course, to say thank you. A thoughtful person is a remembered person. Because of these positive traits, people trust Jim and are willing to help him when he needs a favor.

Introverts have to understand their best qualities and learn how to use them to their advantage in networking.

Thoughtful Listener

Listening carefully to others is a skill most extroverts need to work on. It comes easier to introverts who naturally absorb and use what they hear. Introverts generally spend more time listening, and less time talking.

One of the best communicators I know is Alice. Every time she meets someone, she mentions something that she remembers about that person from a prior conversation. Not long ago, she and a client were meeting about a project when she began the conversation by asking about the client’s sister and her new horse. The client was impressed because not only did Alice remember his sister’s name, but also remembered something that was important to her.

Like Jim, Alice is also one of the best listeners because she remembers details, and uses this skill to network effectively. For example, she remembered a friend of mine who was looking for a new job, and gave me a contact that she thought might be useful for my friend’s job search. Later, when I found out that Alice’s company was going through some tough times, I told her about a job opening that I thought would be perfect for her skills. After I gave her a contact name, she applied for the job, and is now happily employed. I not only received a lovely thank you note, but also a referral for a speaking engagement with her new company. The referral came with detailed information about the person I was to contact as well as useful information on what materials to send.

Alice is someone who epitomizes a good networker—she listens, she takes in all sorts of information, and when the time is right, she will put different people and projects together where she thinks there is a good fit. Like Alice, introverts can take advantage of their listening skills to build sound relationships, which is at the heart of being a good networker.

Caring and Helpful

The strengths of the introvert include depth of concentration, comfort with the world of ideas and thoughts, and a caring and helpful attitude towards others. Introverts may not consider themselves as particularly social people, yet they may have many loyal contacts who would help them out whenever they needed at favor.

Margie is successful because she is one of the best networkers, even though she is a self-proclaimed introvert. Her strength is her helpfulness. One day when an associate needed a certain resource, he called her, and she knew just the right person to call. Within an hour, he had what he needed. Because others know and trust her, they want to refer her, which has resulted in more business. Introverts network well in situations where they can use their skill to help others.

Passionate

While many introverts cringe at the idea of walking up to a stranger and starting a conversation, their shyness magically disappears when they discuss a topic about which they are passionate. When people can focus on an aspect of their industry or talk about a product that they care about, they will naturally speak with enthusiasm and conviction. An account executive, Richard, said that he became so nervous before meeting with a prospective client, he even felt nauseated. Yet as soon as he started speaking about his product and its benefits, he felt comfortable and at ease because he was talking about something in which he truly believed. Introverts need a focus and a genuine reason to make a contact.

Make networking work for introverted employees

Remind them to be:

• Prepared and focused
• Good listeners
• Passionate about their work
• Approachable
• Interested in others and what they have to say
• People who others trust

Networking Techniques for the Quiet Networker

Under certain circumstances most people feel shy, reticent, or introverted. A meeting or event may seem intimidating, yet the one key component of successful networking is visibility. We all have to remember that networking is about making connections, building relationships, and developing advocates. Here are some tips on how your employees can put this into action, even when they are feeling introverted:

1. Have a goal.
   Set goals for opportunities your employees have to expand or nurture their network.
   • When attending a networking event, they can set a goal to meet and follow-up with at least two people.
   • At a company function, have them set a goal to sit next to someone new. They can think of three questions for the other person about his or her profession, interests, and family.
   • Every day, they can send an e-mail to someone they have not contacted recently.
   • Once a week, have them call three people just to say "hello."
   • Once a month, they can have lunch with a friend, colleague, or client.
2. Take "baby steps."
   Networking goals are easier to attain when they are broken into smaller pieces. For instance, a networking event may intimidate an introvert, so it is best to take it step-by-step. When they meet someone new, they can start with a hello and a smile, then establish eye contact and repeat the person’s name. Next, they should ask an open-ended question and listen to the person’s response. When they see that they have made a connection with someone else through simple conversation, interacting with others will seem easier.
3. Begin with a compliment.
   This is a wonderful way to start a conversation. Quiet people can start conversations by saying something complimentary about others. They could compliment a client on a product innovation, promotion, or positive company developments that they read about in a trade publication. Starting a dialogue in this way is effective, since everyone likes to get a compliment.
4. Use a "script."
   If calling to follow up with a new contact makes your employees a bit nervous, developing a short script is helpful for developing confidence. First they can write down key points and rehearse them until they can say them naturally. They can also refer to notes about the people they are calling. After they do this a few times, they may be able to get by with just their notes.

They can even develop a type of "script" for meetings and events. Have them create a list of conversation starters or prepare three "small talk" topics—current events, new movies or books, or industry news. Most introverted people are well prepared and thorough, so your employees can use this characteristic to their advantage in planning for networking encounters.

Networking is about creating long lasting relationships that are mutually beneficial. It is important to remember that everybody can do it, and there is more than one "correct way" to network. By encouraging your introverted staff to build upon their strengths, they will become effective networkers, and they can develop and follow a process that fits their personality and comfort level which will lead to success.

Here is something that introverts can post on their bulletin boards as a constant reminder:

P- Create a Plan that fits your Personality
O- Do it in an Organized fashion
S- Stick to your own System
T- Remember it takes Time to build relationships

Andrea Nierenberg, "a networking success story" (The Wall Street Journal), is the author of Nonstop Networking: How to Improve Your Life, Luck and Career. Ms. Nierenberg works with leading companies to improve interpersonal communications for management and staff. She offers keynote addresses and custom-designed programs on motivational techniques, networking tactics, and presentation skills.

To contact Andrea Nierenberg, write to The Nierenberg Group, 420 E. 51st Street, Suite 12D, New York, NY 10022. She can be reached by phone at 888-605-5911 or by e-mail at andrean@selfmarketing.com, web address: www.selfmarketing.com