By: Judy Austin

What comes to mind when I say the term “Networking”?  When asked this question, many professionals respond only with scrunched up faces and looks of distaste.  Then one brave soul will say out loud  “it’s trying to sell others”.  STOP right there Kemo Sabe!  I have heard enough.  We will debunk that misperception right here and right now!

Networking in its purest form is about building relationships with others. Regardless of the motivation or intent, networking is an avenue to meet and establish a level of trust among people.  Remember: People do business with those they like and trust!  Networking is an amazing skill!  Anyone you encounter and every time you engage in a conversation you are expanding and enhancing your network.

Sales Trainers were early adopters of networking as a tactic within their sales methodology. As a result of being linked to sales, networking developed a negative stigma often associated with sales.  Please do not read this as being negative on Sales or Sales Professionals as both are vital to the success of any business.

People often mask sales as networking. Sales can be seen as a motivation for networking, since it requires some basis of relationship, but the intent and objectives are clearly different.  If you are selling rather than investing a sincere effort to get to know and understand the other person, they will see the distinction in your motives. 

In a new relationship, as soon as you start selling, the other person stops listening.  Your motives and agenda are clear.  You do not truly have an interest in the other person, only the business opportunity they can bring to you.  Think of all the times you have met someone new who all they did was brag about themselves (selling) or what they do (selling) or how they have a solution for you (selling).  Now how engaged and excited were you in that conversation?  Bet you couldn’t wait till it was over!  Whether a date or a business meeting, such an approach is an immediate turn off!  Try deactivating your sales button and just be you.

Primary Difference: In a sales process the goal of the interaction between two people is the eventual sale of a product or service. When networking, the goal is a relationship; wherever it may lead. A sale could be the consequence, but never the goal of networking.

I have composed a comparison to illustrate the differences between selling and networking.

Networking Focus on the other person	Selling Focus on WIIFM – What’s In It For Me
Perspective: Long Term Share information about themselves as person and not only their business role	Perspective: Short Term – instant benefitProbing to detect a need that can be satisfied by their product or service
Help: Offer and Give help without expecting something back Never keep score	Help: Only give if they see an immediate payback Calculating how many meetings, how much time & money spent on the relationship
Listen: To help.  Ask questions to learn about the person and develop understanding	Listen: To get the deal.  Ask questions to help determine their positioning
Target: Willing to talk to everyone and show an interest in the conversation.	Target: Only want to meet legitimate prospects
Attitude: You can never be certain of who they know and what they know.  Ask for and give business cards to people they will remain in contact.  Ask questions about the person, family, career, background etc	Attitude: Want to talk only to decision makers.  Collect and distribute as many business cards as possibleTalk about business.  Ask questions about the company, not the person.
Goal: Establish and cultivate relationships	Goal: Close a sale.  People are the means.
Offer: To Help	Offer: A Solution

An actual occurrence depicting the distinction between a selling vs. networking approach.

Situation: Dan, the owner of a Wireless phone dealer attends a luncheon where he sits by Steve, the Managing Partner of a small local CPA firm.

The Sales Approach
Drumming up a conversation, Dan immediately shows Steve his new PDA phone and explains how it can make a professional’s life much more efficient.
Putting on his sales hat, Dan works his magic to convince Steve of the efficiency gains and ultimately to replace their current plan with new Blackberries and switch their cell phone contract for the 5 partners in the office. 

Patting himself on the back with a new client, Dan considers the lunch a success.  A $25 lunch yields a $1500 new contract!  “My, My, what an ROI”, Dan proclaims.  Dan loses the contract next year to a lower priced bid.

The Networking Approach
Over lunch, the Dan demonstrates his interest in Steve as a person much more than his role in the firm.  He learns that Steve is originally from the Northeast and moved South because of a job his wife took at the local University. They have 2 children one 12 and the other a sophomore in high school.  Steve is an avid basketball fan and attends all the local games to watch his eldest daughter on the cheer team.  He learns that Steve is quite the outdoorsman and looking for a new camper. Dan recalls that a friend of his has a nearly brand new camper for sale. He shares this info with Steve and gives Steve the contact information. Weeks later the Dan gets a call from his friend that the camper has a new owner – Steve. 

Several months pass, Dan and Steve have traded emails just to check in, during which time Steve’s daughter broke her cell phone and Dan replaces it at no charge with a used one from his store that he cant sell.  One day, Dan receives a call from Steve who serves on the board of a large construction firm who is unhappy with their cell phone service and wants a reliable vendor.  Steve recommends Dan to the President and sets up a meeting. After a 30 minute chat with the company President, Dan gets the nod on a contract to equip and manage their 300 field operatives cell phones. 

Dan returns to the office and calls Steve to offer his sincere thank you and before hanging up asks Steve if he can help with anything at the moment. 

The next time you approach someone or sit down at a luncheon, remember the story of Dan and Steve.  Consider the long term perspective and future benefits of networking!   Networking is about being yourself, not selling. You can unscrunch your face and put that smile back on… Go Forth and network!